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.Plenty of the incidents in the dossiercould probably be laid at Alexei s feet.And now that he was vor and not simply a bodyguard, he d be ina position to make decisions and give orders, which was even worse.Patrick had worked undercover enough to understand the desperationthat led people to turn to gangs for acceptance and income.He knewthat the underlings did as they were told for fear of losing their placeand the gang s protection.When Alexei had just been a bodyguard,Patrick had used that knowledge to soothe his conscience, but now&.Setting his beer on the counter, he bent double, stretching musclestense from sitting too long.He was getting too old for undercover workin the street gangs, but he wasn t cut out for desk work.He hoped he dget a case soon, preferably one that didn t involve the Volkovs, becausehe could feel his body tightening up from the inactivity.Straightening and reaching toward the loft s high ceiling, hearched the knotted muscles of his back.Maybe he d get up earlytomorrow morning and drive to the lakefront for a run instead of hisusual routine in Holstein Park.That would at least work some of thestress from his body, even if it couldn t do anything to ease the turmoilin his mind and his heart.Retrieving his beer, Patrick dropped onto the couch, glancing atthe phone lying next to him on the leather cushion.The temptation todial Alexei s number just to hear the deep, rasping tones of his voicemessage was almost irresistible.He reached for the phone, ready to tossit across the room, but found himself rubbing the surface with histhumb as if he could somehow reach through to Alexei through theplastic casing. Fuck this, he repeated, bringing up the Russian snumber and pressing the keys to delete it. Yes, I m sure, he answeredthe prompt in a bitter snarl before hitting the delete command again andtossing the phone onto the table.If only his memories of Alexei were as easy to erase as his phonenumber.Patrick took a deep swallow of his beer and set it on the table,the movement pulling on the bandage at the bend of his elbow.Hetugged off the tape and the small pad of cotton beneath it, rubbingabsently at the tiny mark where the nurse had drawn his blood fortesting.And that, inevitably, drew his mind back to Alexei s actions onthe boat, the reason Patrick needed to be sure he was still clean. Nowyou remember what fuck feels like&.As if he d forgotten what a fuck felt like since the first timeAlexei took him in the dingy toilet stall in the CTA stop.Sometimes itfelt like all he could think about was Alexei moving inside of him.Ithad been hard enough when it really was just a fuck, but then Alexeihad to go and spoil everything by making love to him.Not once, buttwice.In the warehouse and on the boat.The first time on the boat,anyway.Patrick had always been aware of the dangers of his job, and sohe d always insisted on using a condom with his past lovers because hecould only be so sure of being safe himself, but he d dreamed of acommitted relationship, one where they could finally forgo thoseprecautions.He hadn t expected it to happen on Daphne s boat in a fitof anger, but even then, he couldn t deny the part of him that hadreveled in that moment of freedom, of feeling Alexei s come drying onthe backs of his thighs all the way home.Only after he d gotten home and showered had it occurred to himthat Daphne s boat probably had a shower and he could have washed atowel along with the sheets.Just the memory of it had him hard.He d tried unsuccessfully toignore his need for the past two weeks.Maybe a good orgasm wouldclear his mind.It wouldn t be as good as when Alexei touched Damn it, I m supposed to be forgetting about him.He needed release, though.Shifting on the couch, Patrick pushedthe sweats and boxers he was wearing down to the tops of his thighs,baring his erection.He hissed a little at the cool air, but his palm washot as he closed it around the thickening shaft.He wished he had somelube handy, but he wasn t going to move into the bedroom to get it.Thethought slipped into his mind that Alexei always had lube when theyneeded it.He stifled another curse at his mind s betrayal, but he couldn tstop now.He needed this.His hand moved faster, spreading the fluidleaking from the tip of his cock as he worked his erection.This was how Alexei had gotten him off the first time.The thought triggered his climax, his semen shooting all the wayup to his chin.Patrick opened his eyes slowly, staring at the phone on the table.It mocked him silently.He might have deleted the number from thephone s memory, but not from his own.If he dialed it now, he d betAlexei would meet him, if only for a fuck.Even that would be better than sitting at home alone, jerking offlike a kid.Wouldn t it? Not going there, Patrick muttered, stripping his T-shirt off towipe himself clean. I m not doing this.It s over.He made his choiceand now I ve made mine.He went into his bedroom to change shirts and sat back down atthe table to keep reading the dossier.He wasn t even halfway through,and the captain would expect a report tomorrow [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]