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.You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh 135 pounds.  Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming down.This explains the fractured scull and broken collarbone.  Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.  Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and the bottom fell out of the barrel.Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds.  I refer you again to my weight in block number 11.As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.This accounts for the two fractured ankles and lacerations of my legs and lower body.  The encounter with the barrel, slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the bricks in pain, unable to move, and watching the barrel six stories above - I again lost my presence of mind.I let go of the rope!117.Lessons from Noah's Ark1.Don't miss the boat2.Remember we are all in the same boat3.Plan ahead, it wasn't raining when Noah started building4.Stay fit, when you're 600 years old you may be asked to do something really big5.Don't listen to the critics just get on with the job6.For safety's sake, travel in pairs7.Speed isn't always an advantage, the snails made it on board as well as the cheetahs8.The ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals9.Above the clouds, the sun still shines10.Keep looking for that rainbow118.Sometimes Your Mouth Can get you into TroubleA priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited."I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here.  I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place.  The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer.  He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife and taken illegal drugs.  I was appalled.  But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full good and loving people."Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late.He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk.  "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived, "said the politician.  "In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession."119.Beauty out of BrokennessYou've no doubt seen pictures of Michelangelo's David.Maybe you've stood in front of it and marvelled at its flawless lines.Many judge it to be the world's most perfect piece of sculpture.The torso of shepherd boy is rendered in exquisite detail.Down to the muscle contraction etched on his forehead, it seems almost ready to come alive.Yet that masterpiece was carved from a single block of marble that two other artists had already discarded for its imperfections! Michelangelo saw possibilities for a flawed block of marble others had discarded.No matter what the critics think of you, you still have infinite possibilities.120.Perseverance A young minister was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch.He opened a letter from his mother he just got that morning.As he opened it a twenty dollar bill fell out.He thought: "Thanks, mum, I could use that right about now." As he finished his meal he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post.He thought: "That fella could probably use the $20 more than I."So he crossed out the names on the envelope and put the $20 in the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters."PERSEVERE!" So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man.The man picked it up and read the message and smiled [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]