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.Instead, there was a handcaressing Jacob s hair, and pulling the covers all the way to his chin, and that was really nice.There were more voices after that, but quieter, muffled behind wood and running water. Will you fucking stop moving. Language.And it hurts. Big baby. Maybe you should take sewing lessons. And maybe if you stopped moving I could do a better job.Jacob shifted unhappily, clutching at the covers.He didn t like it when someone was hurt.He didn t likethe way it sounded in his daddy s voice, or the way it smelled.He didn t like it at all.When the water stopped again, the smell of hurt wasn t so bad anymore.Instead, it smelled a little likesoap, and then a lot like soap when the bed moved next to Jacob, and he rolled into arms that held him closeand tight and finally gave him the hug he had wanted so much.He snuggled into skin that was still a little bitwet, a little bit warm, but it still didn t feel completely right, like there was something missing.The bed moved again, behind Jacob this time, and there were more cuddles, more arms and moretightness, all around him.Jacob s tummy finally didn t feel all funny anymore.Instead, he felt all warm andsafe and loved.And he finally could fall asleep for real.He woke up twice during the night, or maybe three times, each time to check if he was still in his daddyand Nicholas bed, check if they were still there.And they were, so it was good.Once, Jacob s daddy rolled over.Jacob turned to him and tried to cuddle his arm around his daddy, buthe was too big so Jacob couldn t reach all the way.Also, there was a bandage on his daddy s side, and Jacobwas afraid to touch it.But Nicholas pressed against Jacob s back and kissed the back of his head and saidvery quietly,  It s okay, sweets.Daddy s okay. And Jacob could fall asleep again.Another time, it was Nicholas arm that fell away from Jacob, and he woke up feeling a bit cold.Hereached back, and grabbed Nicholas hand, and pulled it over himself and his daddy again, and that wasmuch better.When morning came and it was time to get up and go to school, Jacob remained very still and breathedvery softly.He didn t want to go anywhere, he wanted to stay with them, even if he was a little bit hungry.His daddy didn t wake up.Nicholas must have been awake because he was caressing Jacob s hair, but hedidn t say it was time to get up or anything, so Jacob let himself fall asleep again.Sometimes it was nice to just cuddle a little more.Six Years OldJacob s tummy was all twisted and unhappy.His daddy and Nicholas were arguing again.When Jacob came home from school, his daddy was in his office with the door closed.Auntie Julie saidit was better to leave him alone, but then Jacob s daddy opened the door and gave Auntie Julie a very frownylook.He picked up Jacob, took him inside the office, and closed the door again.Very loudly.Usually, Jacob liked being in his daddy s office.Jacob had a small desk of his own against the wall, andhe could make drawings there or do his homework.But today, Jacob didn t like it at all.It smelled funny in the office.Jacob s daddy smelled funny, likepepper and like the locked weapons cabinet that Jacob wasn t supposed to touch.It made Jacob want to rubhis nose until he smelled something nice again.It made him sad, too, because he knew what this unpleasantscent meant.And it made his tummy hurt.Leaving his backpack on his small desk, Jacob went to his daddy and hugged his side. Don t be mad.Jacob s daddy lifted Jacob into his lap and gave him a smile. I m not mad.Why do you think I mmad?His daddy was lying, and it wasn t nice to lie.Not nice at all.Jacob crossed his arms, just like his daddydid when he was mad and made a frowny face, too. You smell mad.You re mad at Nicholas again, aren tyou?The smile on Jacob s daddy s face went away, and he pulled Jacob close for a hug. Sometimesgrownups are mad at each other, he said against the top of Jacob s hair. And sometimes I m mad atNicholas.It s got nothing to do with you.I still love you lots and lots.And Nicholas loves you, too.With one hand flat against his daddy s shirt, Jacob pushed away.He knew that they loved him.He justwished they would love each other, too. Why don t you love Nicholas? he asked, looking straight up at his daddy s face.His daddy blinked a lot. Wh& what? Why don t you love Nicholas? Jacob repeated. You fight with him all the time.And you argue.Andyou smell mad, and you re all cranky, and I don t want you to get a dirvoce [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]