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.He had found there was only one thought in his mind – one name, over and over again – Stella.His Stella.How could he tell her? How could he tell her they would be parted and so soon? Sure they had only been courting for a few months but it felt like a lifetime and he had become used to – and entranced with – their small bubble: their afternoons walking the Bollies, the evenings in their flat, the necking at the cinema.The thought that it was going to end – that they would be ripped apart – almost tore him to shreds.He went back to his bunk, sat there and wondered how he could tell her.Tomorrow was Christmas – he had been invited to dine with the Hegartys and he had presents wrapped.He had bought Stella a brooch and he had been so looking forward to seeing her face when she opened it.Now it seemed pathetic, all of it seemed pathetic.Having been told to stand down for the rest of the day and through to Boxing Day, he picked up his jacket, his wallet and his hat, and left the Base without so much as glancing back.He had been due to meet Stella anyway at the flat, if she could get away, but he had to hedge his bets.He had to assume that, as she had said, she would be unlikely to get away.It was already afternoon and the shops would no doubt be closing early – and the pubs too – and he had so much to do.He was going to do this all wrong, he thought.It was just all wrong.Not how he imagined it at all.He glanced at his watch.Perhaps Ernest Hegarty would be in the pub now, sinking one last pint of stout before heading home to his happy family scene.If he was lucky he would catch him and if he caught him he could still perhaps salvage some of this day – of this whole year.If he could win Ernest Hegarty over, when the following day came he would ask Stella to marry him and set about making plans for her to journey with him to the States.It was a lot to ask of her, he knew.He knew deep down that, no matter how she loved him, she adored her family and he would be taking her away from all that.But outside of the Marines, what was there for him here in Derry? Even the local men struggled to get jobs.He knew there was work waiting for him back in Boston and that they could have a good quality of life, away from the abject poverty he saw around him, all accepted as part of the Derry routine.He wanted more for Stella.He wanted to give her everything but he knew that when he spoke to Ernest Hegarty he would be asking this hardworking family man to give him his own everything: his daughter.He’d heard tales, of course – of marines chased from family homes, told they couldn’t take the girls with them.He’d heard of women wailing and screaming as the reality hit that they were actually boarding that ship and leaving their families behind, probably forever.He took a deep breath and pushed open the door of the bar, letting the warmth of the chatter, smoke and banter wash over him.The punters were clearly in great form, the thought of a short break from work at Christmas filling them with cheer almost as much as the stout was.Ray scanned the room, trying to spot Ernest, half hoping he wasn’t there and half hoping to see him quickly and get this over and done with even faster – like pulling off a Band-Aid.He walked around the room until the sound of a loud peal of laughter caught his attention and he turned to see Ernest, pint in hand, listening to one of his docker friends relate a story which would make even a marine blush.Ray was standing awkwardly, moving from one foot to the other and trying to build up the courage to try and get Ernest’s attention, when the older man looked at him, furrowed his brow as if trying to fit this jigsaw piece into a puzzle and broke into a smile.“Well, Ray, son, what brings you here? Come and join us for a pint! I’ll have a second if you promise not to tell Stella and Kathleen.”“Thanks, Mr Hegarty.I’ll get them – another pint of stout?”“Ha, the boy’s trying to keep you sweet! He’s after something, I bet,” Ernest’s raucous friend shouted.“Hi, Yankee Doodle Dandy, what is it you’re after?”Ernest looked at Ray and Ray was almost sure he felt the blood leave his face and pool somewhere around his feet.He realised it was now or never.It was strange that one moment – that announcement at the Base – could change everything.Now he had to make decisions and he had to make them fast.before he broke the news to Stella that he was being shipped home.“Can I have a word, sir?” he asked to raucous laughter from Ernest’s friend.“I bet no one has ever called you ‘sir’ before!” one of the dockers roared while Ernest held Ray’s gaze.“Nothing wrong with a bit of manners – you could be doing with some yourself,” Ernest said, pushing past his friends and leading Ray to what may have been the only quiet corner of any pub in Derry that Christmas Eve.He took a seat and invited Ray to do the same.“What is it, son?” he asked.“Is it about Stella?”Ray nodded, trying to find the words to ask the question he so needed to.He blurted his question awkwardly and without grace.“I want to marry her,” he said.“With your blessing.”Ernest stared, his expression unreadable.“Well, son,” he said at last, sitting back and taking in Ray from head to foot, “do you love her?”Ray considered the question for a split second – considered how to convince Ernest that not only did he love her, he loved her with all his heart in a way that he’d never thought possible.“Yes, sir,” he said softly.“I love her very much.And I know what I’m asking is a lot – but if you would give me your blessing, sir, to make her my wife, you would make me the happiest man on earth.I’ve my orders, you see, to ship out [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]