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.For now,anyway.I release him and kick my shoes off. My feet hurt. I complain, wriggling my toes. Whyare we in your office? I wanted to show you something. A picture of Jake? I ask hopefully, probably too eagerly as well.I really want to see what Jesse stwin looked like. Well, no. His frown line jumps onto his forehead. What then? I ask, utterly intrigued.He looks shifty all of a sudden, uncomfortable and all boyish. What s up with you? Turn around. he commands softly, resting his hands in his pockets.I m not sure I want to.I look at him questioningly, but he remains silent and his frown line remainsfixed in place.He s concerned, which makes me concerned, and very very curious.I slowly pivot,wanting to close my eyes, but far too inquisitive to do it.And then the wall slowly comes into view,and I stop breathing.A choked gasp flies from my gaping mouth, and I ve taken a step backbecause Jesse s chest is pressed up against me.Or maybe he has stepped forward to steady me.I m not sure.I can t even take it all in.My eyes run from one side of the large wall, the length of hisoffice to the other end.It s completely coated in& me.Every square inch is me.Not framed pictures or canvases or photographs.It s wallpaper,although you would never know it.Each seam is so incredibly perfect, it looks like one giant pieceof art a homage to me, and the biggest piece, the centre piece, is me spread on the cross in ourroom at The Manor.I m naked, my eyes are dropped low and my lips are parted.My hair is amass of glossy waves, framing my lust filled face and the sensual vibes pumping from my body inthe still shot is tangible.I can feel it as I m standing here.My gaze starts to drift, absorbing it all.There s too much, and I m gasping again as I spot a motionshot of my back as I rush down the steps of The Manor.It wouldn t be particularly strange, but Ican clearly see the head of a calla lily, extending from the side of my fleeing body.And I registermy dress.It s my navy pencil dress.It s the dress I wore to my very first consultation with Mr JesseWard. That was the first one I took. he murmurs,  It became a bit of an obsession after that. His voice isquiet and unsure.I swing around, my mouth still gaping.I can t possibly speak.The lump in mythroat is doing too good a job of stopping me.He s biting his lip, watching me closely.I swallowand turn back to the wall.The Ava wall.I m everywhere.I m at the launch night of Lusso; I m sitting on the bench at the dock side after ourencounter; I m in the shower, the kitchen, on the terrace.I m in Harrods changing rooms, and I msitting on my stool in bar at The Manor.I m kitted out in my biker leathers, and I m storming awayfrom him in an oversized, cream knitted jumper.I smile, noting so many shots of my back fromwhere I m running away from him, probably after I ve received the countdown or I m having astrop.I m naked in countless, or just in lace.And then there s me in handcuffs on the bed, andanother of me swimming in the pool at The Manor.I m laughing with Kate; I m brushing my hairfrom my face; I m eating lunch in Baroque; I m dancing with my friends, and I m tapping my fronttooth with my fingernail.I also see myself slouched in the passenger seat of the DBS, clearlydrunk.I m running towards the Thames and I m collapsed on the grass in The Green Park.I mpushing a trolley around the supermarket, I m getting changed into my baggy shit, and I mbrushing my teeth.I m asleep on the jet and standing on the veranda in Paradise.I m pokingabout on the market stalls, kicking the sand on the beach and cooking breakfast in the villa.Weonly returned from Spain yesterday.How did he do this? I m asleep in his bed and asleep in hisarms there are so many of me asleep in his arms.Every facial expression imaginable and everyhabit I have is displayed in one of these pictures.It s like my life in images since I first met thisman.And I wasn t aware of any of it.He really is obsessed with me, and if I d have known aboutthis in the early days, like when he persistently pursued me, I think I d have ran faster and farther.Not now, though.Now I m just reminded after a tiring day of this man s love for me.I m astounded and unaware that my feet have taken me to the foot of the wall.I m slowly walkingthe length of it, absorbing it all, each flick of my eyes finding another picture that I didn t seebefore. Here, Jesse s quiet husk pulls my bewildered eyes from the Ava wall, and to a black, permanentmarker pen.That alone makes me smile. I want you to sign it.I take the pen and look up at him, unsure if he s playing or not.He wants me to deface his AvaWall?  Sign it with my name? I ask, a little confused. Yes, wherever. He waves at the images.I glance back at the wall and laugh lightly, still dazed by what I m confronted with.I step forwardand pop the lid from the pen, looking for a spare space for me to scribble my name, but then I spotthe first shot that he ever took of me and I approach it, armed with my pen [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]