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.I loved to watch his face, the way his lipsparted and his eyes grew misty, distant, while he concentrated on the task at hand.I freedone hand, reached up and touched his face, caressed it, brushing my thumb across hischeekbone.He quickened, gasping, moaning.His head dropped, hair tumbled around hisface.He lifted, paused and plunged down one last time.I gave way, crying out, reaching forhim when he came and fell onto me, breathless. Yes, I gasped. As cures go, it s a bloody spectacular one.* * * *The doctor s cure was far less spectacular.I sat on a chair and watched him scribbleout a prescription form in that relentlessly illegible scrawl that seemed to be a requirementbefore graduating medical school.He handed me the slip. It s an antidepressant.You ve had a bad experience, MrHarrison.Everything points to PTSD.It will get better but sometimes you have to help thingsalong.I stared at him. PTSD? Really? I suppose I should ve known.I d been around longenough to know soldiers weren t the only ones who had to deal with it. That s my view.It s not my area of expertise, mind. Jesus. I puffed out my cheeks and exhaled slowly.It made sense.STOLEN SUMMER S.A.Meade 145 So these pills will help? Do they have side effects? They can do.They all do.Some worse than others.If you feel suicidal, depressed,pissed off, restless, or you can t sleep, phone me right away.As it is, I ll want to see you in acouple of weeks to see how you re getting on. He sighed and adjusted his glasses. I won tlie to you.I hate prescribing these things but we have to try.I think you ve been throughenough, you don t need any more issues.You should really think about counselling, youknow. I know. I glanced past him, out of the window, out at the ordinary world full ofpeople with nice, quiet, ordinary lives. I just don t feel ready for it.I don t want to talk theway a counsellor is going to want me to talk.I m not ready to talk about what happened.The doctor sighed. I know.It s not unusual to feel this way.Just keep it in mind, MrHarrison.You may think you can deal with it, that your partner can deal with it, but you vebeen through a lot.People aren t meant to go through what you went through.It leavesscars. Let s just try the drugs first, please? All right but if you feel like things are getting on top of you, let me know.I slid the prescription into my pocket. Thanks. At least Colin would be happy thatI d seen the doctor and the doctor had given me something to help.I rose and shook hishand. Don t forget, call me if you feel worse. I will.When I got home, I drew the curtains and turned on the lamps to fight off the leadengloom of the November afternoon.I read the list of side effects, not at all impressed by theprospect of dry mouth, stomach pain, dizziness, fatigue, headaches and, worst of all,decreased sex drive.Fuck.I poured some water and took a pill.They were only possible side effects after all.STOLEN SUMMER S.A.Meade 146Chapter Eighteen I m sorry. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling.Colin rolled over and did the same. It s all right.You did say it might happen. I hoped it wouldn t. I turned to face him, watched his face in the soft lamplight. Ireally hoped it wouldn t. It doesn t matter. He smiled and that was my absolution. Didn t the doctor say youonly had to take them for a little while? Yeah. It had only been two weeks, hadn t taken long for the fucking side effects tokick in.Oh yes, I was one of the lucky ones nausea, stomach pain, headaches, short fuse.Iwas beginning to think the panic attacks and nightmares were better.Colin cupped my chin.His lips were soft on mine. Don t worry, I can wait.You llalways be worth the wait. Thank you. I huddled close to him, seeking warmth in the chill of the Novembernight.Outside, a late autumn gale hurled rain against the window.It was a good night forstaying in bed, regardless of bloody erectile dysfunction. As long as you re here, with me. He gathered me up. That s all that matters.I sometimes wondered what I d done to deserve Colin [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]