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.Secret caresses.And then that hand-holding thing at thehospital? You said it was drug-induced and he wouldn t remember! Ifound my voice out of sheer desperation. I said that for Russ s sake. He blew it off with a wave of hishand. I didn t know how he d react.I wasn t going to share mytheory about the two of you until I knew for sure. The two of us? Rob was doing it again.He was assuming,yet overlooking one all-important factor that girl!  Don t youmean Ellis and his girlfriend? Girlfriend? What girlfriend? Ellis has a girlfriend? Sincewhen? And why would he write a poem about you when he has a158 Wade Kellygirlfriend? He unshouldered the backpack he had on and unzippedit before pulling out a piece of paper. Look, he said, handing it tome. Read that and tell me I m imagining things.I glared. You re imagining things! You haven t read it! he pointed out as I scoffed.I didn t know what the hell was going to be so convincing thatI d believe Ellis was in love with me.Sure, he d murmured he lovedme, once, after sex, while he was falling asleep.He could have saidanything.Halfheartedly, I looked at the paper in my grasp.It was apoem.Of Love and SadnessAnd what should I speak to you today,Of paper flowers and skies of gray?Or moon-lit nights, sitting alone,Candles burning with no one home.Pure sadness falls upon mine ear;I hear it whisper, because you re not here.My cold tears that fall, deafen the nightIn ways that can't be found in light.The shadows cry of a love so dearThat my heart won't beat without him near.Cupid calls,  Fear not, my friend, for love is a fire;Which kindles, ignites, and consumes the pyre.Love is the flame that banishes dark,And teaches a tune to the morning lark.It's love that beats within my breast,And love that gives each soul true rest.So when my heart in sadness sighs,I remember that love is in his brown eyes.IT WAS nice but there was no evidence it was about me.So I hadbrown eyes.It didn t prove anything.I looked up. It s not aboutme.My Roommate s a Jock? Well, Crap! 159 Yes, it is.It has to be! You haven t seen him lately; he s amess.Glum.Listless.Bored out of his mind! I m telling you hemisses you.I lowered my eyelids halfway. Because I put the  hoot inhootenanny, and Ellis never knew fun before he met me. Snide?Not me. Cole, why do you have to do that? Not every situation isnegative. Because people don t fall in love with me! Oh God! I d saidit out loud, and my mouth kept confessing. I m unlikable, Rob, orhaven t you figured that out? I m prickly and derisive, and I m notgood for more than a fifteen-minute fuck before the guy s out thedoor.Why should Ellis treat me any different? He sure left in ahurry the morning after we fucked!Maybe I was too blunt? Oops.Rob certainly looked shocked ashe held up his index finger. Ah, let me just say, I didn t need thatword picture. He reached out and grabbed the wall.He lookedgaunt.My bad. I guess I shouldn t have blurted about me and Ellis  Stop! He threw up all five fingers to block the words fromentering his personal space. Let me just&. Rob carefully made hisway to the couch and sat down. Can I get you some water? I asked because he looked ill. Please.I left and filled a glass for him.After he drank half of it, hemotioned for me to join him, so I sat and waited.Maybe he wasprocessing the information I d let fly? I d already acted like an assby not returning his calls, so this time I waited until he was ready totalk to me. I knew he liked you, he said finally, quietly, breathingthrough his nose again instead of heaving gasps through his mouth. Ellis changed as soon as he moved in, and I credited it to leavinghis parents house.But that morning, when we went to breakfast, Isaw it in his eyes.He looked at you differently. Rob was looking atthe table and then finally brought his eyes to meet mine. I knew heloved you.The camping trip confirmed it.160 Wade Kelly How? I asked.Love at first sight never settled well with me.Romance movies and fairytale princesses falling in love at a singleglance that stuff wasn t real.Nobody could know without knowinga person.You could easily lust in one glance, but love? I doubted it. Have you ever walked onto the porch in the wee hours of themorning after it snowed the night before and watched the sunpeeking through the snow-laden trees and breathed a deep lungful ofcold, crisp air and felt more alive than you ve ever felt before?I shrugged my shoulders. Yeah, I guess I have.It s been awhile. I remember a few winters ago walking outside just beforesunrise.The freezing air filled my lungs and made my chest hurtwith cold, but it warmed me, too, with the very nature of life.I feltconnected to everything, even if only briefly. Rob smiled. You rethat lungful of winter air, Cole.I could see it in his eyes: atbreakfast, and every time we were all together afterwards.You maynot believe me, but I m pretty intuitive that way.I wanted to believe him, I did, but my memories looped avision of him with that girl over and over.Rob had to be wrong. But what about that girl? What girl? You keep saying that, but I don t know what girlyou re talking about. The blond at the pub! He kissed her right in front of me.Andthen she showed up at the hospital with his mom.He loves that girl,not me.Rob smirked.Then he grabbed his mouth and snickeredbehind his hand. That girl? The blond at the hospital.You reworried about her? Yes! If he didn t stop giggling I was about to& [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]