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.I found it intriguing that the exact same scenery could exude two completely different emotions based on my perspective.I wasn’t afraid or resentful of those mountains anymore.There was a fresh stream of hope springing up in this parched land.I wanted to stand in its flow and get drenched.Covered in hope from head to toe.Still, my emotions were like those mountains—one minute as high as the peaks and just hours later as low as the trenches between them.That night I had another appointment on the phone with Dr.Case, and this time we really got down to the nuts and bolts.I had to address those feelings of unworthiness that lingered in my head.I felt like such a mess!“God didn’t create a mess, Christi,” she told me.“On the whole or in parts.He has made you just right the way you are.Your greatest challenge is to thank God for the way He has made you—every minute, not just during what you perceive as your ‘best minutes.’ Do you think you—or any thoughts you have—escape God’s ever-present view?”Wow, I thought.And He loves me anyway? This was big.My homework was a series of questions Dr.Case formed out of our conversation.One question was particularly daunting: “What would have been the drawback if Justin had been a sweet angel and had never been mean to you or scared you?”Seriously? There would have been a drawback to being treated like a valued human being?Ouch.Yeah, I guess I was still harboring some resentment there.I took some time to let this all sink in.If Justin had been wonderful and kind to me, what would have been the detriment in that?I started thinking about where I was at that moment.Slowly, a thought from an entirely different corner of my mind started taking shape in my head.If Justin had been a wonderful husband, I thought, I’d still be with him.I would have missed out on the life, the freedom, the faith I’ve come to appreciate so much.I would have missed out on this journey back to who I was meant to be.I would have missed out on the exhilaration of living a life of authenticity and peace.Dr.Case asked me to find ten answers to that seemingly impossible query.As soon as we hung up, I started typing ferociously as thought after thought, revelation after revelation, popped into my head.What would have been the drawback if Justin had been a sweet angel and had never been mean to me or scared me?1.I wouldn’t have learned to lean on God so much.2.I wouldn’t know how strong I am.3.I wouldn’t have learned about taking risks.4.My faith wouldn’t have expanded so much.5.I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be introspective and examine who I really am.6.I wouldn’t have learned that I’m capable of forgiving someone who hurt me badly.7.I wouldn’t have learned that I can forgive myself for my shortcomings.8.I wouldn’t have learned that I can forgive someone and still extract him or her from my life.9.I wouldn’t have learned that forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what someone did.10.I wouldn’t have learned to recognize potentially harmful behavior in the future.11.I wouldn’t be able to help other people who have experienced similar situations.12.I wouldn’t have learned that forgiveness doesn’t equate to weakness; it’s one of the strongest, bravest decisions a person can make.13.I wouldn’t have learned that I’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person.14.I wouldn’t have realized that money or a nice home doesn’t bring true security.15.I wouldn’t have realized that simply being married isn’t a guarantee against loneliness.16.I wouldn’t have opened my heart to change.17.I wouldn’t have learned how detrimental it can be to judge people.18.I wouldn’t have learned the power of words.19.I wouldn’t have learned the power of friendships.20.I wouldn’t have learned that it’s okay to lean on friends so much.21.I wouldn’t have learned to choose my words wisely.22.I wouldn’t have learned true humility.23.I wouldn’t have learned to hold on for dear life to hope.24.I wouldn’t have discovered that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.25.I wouldn’t have discovered the importance of authenticity.26 [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]