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.No verbal agreement can guaranteespiritual agreement.People search for each other all their lives, but this one doesn't suit that one because ofwork, that one doesn't complement the other's personality, and so on.People are driven by an unquenchablethirst for unity, both physical and moral.People establish clubs, circles, lodges, parties, enter into marriages,take lovers, organize gangs, armies, and countries.Doesn't it seem to you that an unheard scream hoversover human society: I seek another I?77"You're mixed up, Sergei.""Fine.So be it.But I honestly care about tying up the loose ends.""What do you want?""Everybody asks me that.What can I answer? I can't for now.Time will show what I want.Now I'm justdissatisfied.With myself and with others, too.""But I hope ""Oh, of course, I don't mean you."We sat in silence and the delicious relaxation left my body.Thoughts drilled screechingly into my skull."Sergei, I've been meaning to ask you___"WORLD SOUL25"What?""Why did you leave the Committee on Inventions?""Because I wanted to do my own inventing.Erik's biotosis awakened my creative urge.I thought that ourwork would goquickly, but as you see___By the way, I have a segment of thebiotosis with me.I was over at Erik's and I grabbed a piece to run some tests at the institute.""Let's see."I took a small flat vial with an open top from my briefcase.A tiny piece of the biotosis floated on the liquid.Ruzhena looked at it with interest."It's not growing?""No."Ruzhena laughed."What is it?""When you said no, you made such a face like a little boy who didn't get his candy.""Nonsense.I'd like to see your face after so many failures!""Oh, don't be mad.Why don't we go see a good pantomime act.There's one at the Naklonny Theater."Walking down the paths of the park we saw couples sitting on benches, arms entwined, heads inclinedtoward each other silent poses symbolizing trust and sincerity."You're very wrong.I'm amazed at you," Ruzhena said."There's your unity physical, moral, whatever youwant."She gestured in the direction of the dark paths.I smiled.Ruzhena got mad."What about ideas? Doesn't thought unite people, bind them closer together than chains? Hasn't our politicalsystem united billions of people?""You're right," I said."You're right.I value and understand the power of love, the energy of work, the depthof blood ties, and so on.But I seek something different in nature.Different! Something else! Goddamn it,something else entirely!""What do you want then?""Here's what."I ran up the slope leading to the Moscow River.All the bridges visible from there were lit up, and underthem, like black26Emtsev and Parnovoil slicks, barges with marker lights fore and aft slowly made their way in the dark water.The city laybeyond the river, a heap of jewels."There's what I want! There are people there! And there! And over there! And there! No two look alike,they're all different, and yet alike.But each of them is alone physically.Each one is a sealed vessel.I wantto unite all of them physically.So that they can feel each other all the time.Do you understand, physically?""What for?" Ruzhena's eyes sparkled and laughed.Of course, a man is not alone if he can look into eyes like those.Of course, a man is happy if eyes like thatlook at him.Of course, he will bend over and kiss each one separately and then will try to kiss them both atthe same time, and of course, fail, and feel silly.But these are all the sweet familiar tricks of nature not true unity, just a clever ruse, a game, smoke.Youcan give in to the game, but how do you hold on to it? The fog lifts, and you're left all alone again."It's hard to explain, but I must try.I feel a need for community.Other people don't feel it the same way.There are things I understand, but you don't.There are things you know, but I don't.And there are so manyother examples.The thirst for new knowledge and the impossibility of assimilating it alone  and envy andlack of confidence in your own powers.I want to feel all of life, the way it is everywhere, and to guesswhat the future will be like.And also [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]