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.Vic made us sit on the bloody couch as he ate hisbowl of potatoes and macaroni in the recliner, his gunbalanced on his knees, pointed at us.I don t remember ever thinking about anything.Ionly looked at Adam and tried to remember what hispretty face had looked like.I couldn t.Still can t.Wenever had any pictures.I didn t think about Roscoe andwonder where he was, although I have since.I didn teven think about Donnie and Della.They were in adifferent world.They didn t exist here.Sue and Chuckdidn t exist here either.Neither did Grandma andGrandpa.We were all alone in this universe.Just me,Mom, Vic, and Adam.I stared at Adam and feltMom s hand in mine.That was my universe.Adams s single browneye, now glazed over, and Mom s soft clammy hand.The only time Mom quit touching me was whenVic came and sat by us on the couch.Mom shifted soher body blocked more of mine from Vic s sight.Vic soon began to trace Mom s thigh with hisgun.She only had on a T-shirt and a pair of Adam sboxers.I could feel my eyes tear up as he slid themuzzle under the hem of her boxers.She gasped andstiffened.Vic laughed.He pulled the gun back, took out the bullets, andput them in his pocket.He got up and went over toAdam s body.With a ripping sound, he pulled thewaistband of Adam s boxers, and the rigid body liftedslightly.Vic slid the gun under Adam s lower back andlet go of the boxers.Adam s body covered the gun, butit caused him to lie in an even more awkward positionthan before.From Mom s breathing, I thought she was goingto start crying again, but she didn t.Vic walked back and sat on the couch again.This time, he used his hands.One returned to the spotunder the boxers.The other slid beneath her T-shirt.She cursed at him, and he withdrew the hand from herboxers.Without warning, he reached around her andsmacked me hard on the head.Mom began screamingat him.I don t know what she was saying.Vic startedhitting her with both hands, backhanding her face andpunching her chest and stomach.The force pushed herbackward, smothering me between her weight and thesofa cushions.He grabbed the neck of her T-shirt and pulledher from the couch.He forced her down by Adam.Hestarted to pull off her boxers, but she started screamingagain and tried to kick him.He slapped her again.Shedidn t move for several seconds.I thought she wasdead.I started to cry.Vic stared at her in shock.Hemust have thought she was dead too.After a few seconds, she started to move again.He reached out and resumed removing her boxers.Mom kept saying,  Not here, not here, over and overagain.He told her that she could deal with it, that Adamcould watch.She told him to fuck off, to bring Adam into thebedroom, just not here, not in front of me.He looked at me then.Really looked at me.Ilooked back.I didn t see hate there.He wasn t angryat me.He didn t look like he wanted to hurt me.Hedidn t look like he cared to hurt me either.Without a word, he once again pulled Mom bythe hair.He dragged her, half sliding, half crawlingbehind him into the bedroom.The door slammed shut.I sat on the couch.I didn t move.I sat therelistening for Mom s voice.I never heard it.If she madea sound, it wasn t ever loud enough to carry to the livingroom.I could hear Vic though, constantly yelling,screaming names at her, cursing Adam.I could hear thesmack of his fists as he hit her.Finally the sounds of hisscreaming and hitting faded into long, drawn-outgroans.Even after his groans had finished, Mom didn treturn to me until the sun was starting to come up.It was just me and Adam.We stayed in the livingroom.More than once I started to get up and go tohim.Curl up beside him.Wrap his arm around myshoulder like he would do when he and Mom wouldrent a movie and we would eat popcorn on the couch.Iwanted to shake him, to have him rescue me and Momfrom Vic.Have him take us away again.Load us upinto his truck and just drive away.I knew he was dead.I knew he wouldn t comeback.I knew he couldn t help us.I knew he wasbeyond wanting to.I knew I would never get that puppy.LOOKING back, I can clearly count three discernibledays.There may have been more, but I know therewere at least three.I am sure people had to have heardthe gunshot, had to hear the screaming, had to hearsomething.I don t know what they thought maybe alovers quarrel.Maybe they were afraid too, afraid toget involved.Whatever the reason, no police came.Noone came to rescue us from Vic.We didn t do anything.Vic didn t talk to us.Mom and I never spoke.She would cook.He wouldeat.Mom never did.She tried to get me to eat, but Iwouldn t.I drank water, but only when she drank.Several times a day Vic would take her to thebedroom.The second time, she fought again, but afterthat, she walked back willingly.Adam lay there, nevermoving.After that long, in the summertime too, I amsure that there must have been a smell.There wouldhave had to have been.However, I don t remember it.Maybe we didn t notice as our noses were entrenchedin it.Maybe it just didn t matter.The strangest thing about it all is that I don tremember it ending.I don t have any clue whathappened.I don t remember leaving Adam s body.Idon t remember driving away.I simply remember beingaware that we were back home again.Back in ourhouse in El Dorado.Maybe the police finally came.Maybe Momsnuck us away during the night.Maybe Vic just walkedaway [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]