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.I had always fought such effects tooth and nail,but I had also been able to study the total subjection to them by their expression in Lapthorn, whobelieved in the whole experience of alien worlds.On dark worlds, he became a dark Lapthorn, onodorous worlds, an odorous Lapthorn.He changed, from world to world.It was not insanity, althoughseveral of his multiple forms behaved in a manner which would have been grossly out of placeeverywhere else.The syndrome is purely a matter of adaptation, but if it begins to come easily andnaturally, then eventually one adaptation or another will claim one's soul, and one is trapped in an alien(alien, that is, to other men) environment for the rest of one's days.It happens to a lot of spacemen.It would have happened to Lapthorn, in time, had not the crash endedGenerated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlhis life.But it wasn't going to happen to me.I was determined never to surrender myself to alien worlds,alien ways, alien points of view.And not to alien parasites, either.I got up, and went out of the shack.The light was still steady and silver, and I was grateful for havingfound it.There was nobody around except for the lanky man - Tob - who had helped to bring me here.He was sitting just outside the door of Bayon's house, reclining with his head and shoulders supported bya cushion or rock, looking suspiciously like a jailer.He was cleaning his fingernails with a sheath-knife,and he didn't bother to look up as I emerged.' 'Bout time,' he murmured.'Where is everybody?' I asked.'We got a living to earn,' he said.'Just 'cause you sleep till evening is no reason for us to do the same.Afree life is no easy life.We have to eat.Food supply has to be kept up.That means taking stuff from theconverters.It also means putting stuff back in.Them machines is about clapped.As it is, we got to getregular supplies of green-stuff from outside.Muck that grows here is no good at all.Jellied rock andglued-up dirt.We daren't just steal from the converters without putting nothing back.''I'm sure that your sense of social responsibility is both highly developed and highly commendable,' Isaid.'Why aren't you out earning your living?''I'm baby-sitting.''Alpart was worried in case I woke up crying? He thought I might need something?''Bayon always worries.''That's no doubt why he boasts about his optimism.Did he think I was likely to run away ?'He looked up from his manicure, for the first time.He had a very unhandsome face, but it wasn'tunfriendly.His paleness and his wispy, stunted beard made him grotesque to my eyes, but it was a facewith definite humanity.So many of the faces here were white masks, with as much in-built capacity forexpression as the faces of reptiles.'You ain't very pretty,' he said, 'but we love you anyway.You mean a lot to us and we're going to lookafter you as well as we can.''Very kind of you.But you don't need to keep me a prisoner.I'm on your side.''Them as plays it safe,' he said, 'is the ones who manage to get by down here.''Them as plays it safe,' I mimicked, 'don't get kicked out of the holy flock to begin with.''We all make mistakes,' he said, without rancour.'It makes us extra careful about making any more.Thefirst mistake we made cost us our chance to live like worms.If we make the mistake of losing you itcould cost us our chance to live like people.''Perfect,' I said.'I can see that Bayon's got you all convinced.I know it would be no good my telling youthat you probably wouldn't find the star-worlds any more accommodating than this hell-hole, and it wouldmake me very unpopular if I did.But you don't know what the star-worlds are like.They're wonderful -Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlbut for star people.''Once a worm, always a worm,' he said.'Is that what you're trying to tell me?''No, Tob, definitely not that.You're no worm or you wouldn't be here.You'd be in the mines or at thebottom of a hotshaft pretending to be charcoal.You can find a life in the star-worlds - I'm as sure as youare of that.What I'm trying to tell you is that it won't be easy.It won't descend upon you automatically,the minute you step onto alien soil.There will be no miracles.It'll require just the same effort anddetermination you put into living down here.''I know,' he said.Just that, without protest or emphasis.He did know.I had to stop assuming that thepeople of Rhapsody were ignorant savages.They were something weird all right, but it was something alot different from naivete and barbarity.'Sure,' I said, 'you know.And I can't really blame you for keeping eyes on me all the time.''No,' he agreed, 'you can't.We need you, spaceman, a hell of a lot more than you need us.''My name's Grainger,' I said.'Grainger,' he said tonelessly.'You told us.Ain't much different from "spaceman", is it? Bayon is Bayonand I'm Tob.What's your real name?'I sighed.'I haven't got another name.I was born an orphan.Grainger's as real a name as I've got.'He looked at me steadily [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]